Last night a wailing scream/cry woke me from a deep sleep. It took me a minute to orient myself before I realized that Logan was having a night terror again. He was pacing the hallway swatting at imaginary things with his hands. I usher him into the bathroom and flip on the light. I try to get him to pee, which has worked to wake him up in the past. Unfortunately, this time it doesn’t work. It hasn’t worked for the last three episodes.
I have noticed a few things that are more than coincidental when he has these night terrors or nightmares. (He has both) These are a few of the things I have been able to identify that can cause his episodes.
- When my husband is gone. (He had been working out of town during the week)
- Watching a TV show or movie that has some kind of violence or destruction.
- Severe weather, i.e. hail, flooding, tornado, freak snow storm. Icy roads – accidents we see on the road.
In my research I have found conflicting stories, advice and treatments. Some say to try to wake the child, while others say it is best to give the child what they need. Like hugging when they want it, but if he pushes you away, don’t try to coddle. Others advise a two hour bedtime routine involving a lavender scented bath, stories involving nothing scary, scented candles in the room and a white noise machine.
While I do not claim to be an expert on these things, I do know what will work for me. Being a mom of a 6 year old and a 15 month old, I don’t think I can make that two hour calming thing work.
Nightterrors.org has a link to a page entitled “Darlene’s Cure”. Here is what she found to work for her child.
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- Stress plays a major factor in NTs. If your child goes to bed later than normal, has a busy, event filled evening, or doesn’t have a nap or at least a rest time during the day, this could lead to a NT. Try to devote an hour before bedtime for “cool down.” For Tyler this meant a nice warm bath, listening to lullabies, reading books or snuggling with mommy and daddy. Don’t try to put your child to bed overly tired. It sounds crazy, but the more tired they are the worse the NT can be.
- Heat is another major factor in NTs. You may notice your child sweating when he is having a NT. This is common, however if the child is hot when going to sleep, it will be worse. We always kept a window cracked in our son’s room for fresh air. We dressed him in light-weight, 100% cotton pajamas. During the hot summer months, he just wore a diaper or a diaper and T-shirt. No feet in the pajamas! He had several NTs when he was screaming something was biting his feet and we found him pulling on the feet of his pajamas. If your child must sleep with a blanket, make sure they are not wrapped up in it or it is not too hot. We used to give Tyler a cotton receiving blanket or light crib blanket. When we came to bed we made sure the blanket was just over him, not wrapped around him to the point that he was “stuck.”
- We used a noise machine in his room at night. This is a machine that can be purchased at any major department store for $35-$75. This machine emits a steady soothing sound. This helps the child in transition from REM sleep to deep sleep. Again, during the summer months, the window air conditioner did the trick. These machines can have a variety of sounds, from ocean, wind, waterfall, birds, and lullabies. You can pick what your child feels most comfortable with. It is soothing for adults too!
- We gave Tyler KID Chamomile. This is an herbal remedy found at your health food store. I have done a lot of research on drugs vs. herbs and found that herbal remedies, while not being as strong or quick to react, have much lower side effects and are not usually habit forming. There are many herbs out there for use in relaxation for children specifically. Again, with trial and error, you have to find the one that works best for your child. It also is not an overnight cure. It takes about a week of doses to begin working. We gave this to Tyler about an hour before bedtime.
- Do not give a child Benadryl to help NTs. This drug is for allergies and the claim that it helps with NTs is because the side effect of Benadryl is drowsiness. It is like an adult taking night time cold medicine to help sleep when they are not sick. You should never use a drug just for the side effects.
- I also did a lot of research on aroma therapy. I found that lavender was very calming for Tyler. I burned a lavender scented candle in his room for about two hours before bedtime with the doors closed. I used Candle Scents from Glade. When I put him to bed, we blew it out. The aroma stayed in his room almost all night. During the day I used a light ring with lavender essential oil. This is a terra cotta ring that fits over a light bulb in a lamp. You put a few drops of oil in the ring and then on the bulb. The heat from the lamp heats the oil and fills the room with lavender aroma. Very relaxing.
- Never try to wake your child up during the NT. Even though they may talk to you or react to what you are saying, they are actually asleep. They will not remember the NT the next day. We used very soothing words with Tyler. Like, “Everything is ok, mommy and daddy are right here, we love you”, etc. Sometimes when that didn’t work in calming him, I would try to divert his attention by asking him questions very directly like, “Where is the kitty cat?” or “Where is you Elmo?” I tried to stay as calm as possible. The more excited and loud I got, the worse it was for him. Try to adjust yourself to what your child is asking for. If they don’t want to be held, don’t hold them. If they ask for you to hold them, hold them. Don’t just assume that since your child is screaming they want you to hold them.
- Don’t dwell on the NTs the next day. Don’t ask about what the child remembers. This may scare them because they really don’t remember, but your descriptions may scare them. Try to limit your conversations to outsiders about your child when the child is present. Your child my feel guilty and confused about keeping you awake which adds to the stress which makes the NT worse. It’s just a vicious cycle.
- Also remember that pediatricians do not know a lot about this condition. There is no blood test to diagnose it and no prescription to cure it so in most cases the answer from them is that it is normal and they will grow out of it. I think that if more of their children had NTs they would be more willing to help with finding the cure.
- All of these things in combination have helped in “curing” Tyler of his NTs. He has not had any since late July. We have stopped the chamomile, lavender and noise machine. We do, however, make sure he has a rest time during the day and calm evening and we still dress him lightly and use a light blanket.”
Alan Siegel, Ph. D. writes in an article on athealth.com that there are 4 things that can relieve nightmares, reassurance, rescripting, rehearsal and resolution.
“Reassurance is the first and most important dimension of remedying children’s nightmares. This includes “welcoming the dream” with special emphasis on physical and emotional reassurance, which will calm your child’s anxiety and help them feel safe enough to give details about the nightmare and be open to further exploration.
Everyone has nightmares and no one has to bear the pain without help. Reassurance quells the post-nightmare jitters and allows you and your child an opportunity to discover both the creative possibilities and the source of what sparked the nightmare that may still be disturbing your child.
Rescripting means inviting and guiding your child to imagine changes in the outcome of their dream by reenacting or rewriting the plot. Even with young children, rescripting is most effective when it is a collaborative process of brainstorming together. The most well known form of rescripting is creating one or more new endings for a dream using art work, fantasy, drama, and writing.
Rescripting, is like assertiveness training for the imagination. Ominous dream monsters, demons, and werewolves can be tricked and trapped, tamed and leashed, given time-outs, bossed around, and generally made less intimidating. With parental assistance, the child with nightmares can be taught to revolt and throw off the yoke of dream oppression by using magical means such as fairy dust, a wizard’s wand, Star Trek™ “Phasers,” special incantations and spells, or other handy tools of the imagination. Very often developing and rehearsing solutions to dream dilemmas carries over to increased confidence in facing waking conflicts.
One of the most enjoyable aspects of resolving nightmares is helping your child create their own repertoire of “Magical Tools” for dream assertiveness. These tools are limited only by your imagination and can be inspired by your child’s interests, current movies or television shows, your families’ cultural background, books or projects they are completing for school, and so on. Just as garlic or a crucifix repels a werewolf or a silver bullet kills a vampire, some magical tools can be chosen to disarm a specific character in a recurring nightmare such as a special spray for ghosts or an invisible shield for gunmen. Other tools can be of the all-purpose variety such as the old reliable magic wand, Luke Skywalker’s “force” from Star Wars or even trusty police tools such as handcuffs or a secure jail cell with the key thrown away!”
While I want to think that might be the best thing, I read something on a post at nightterrors.org that changed my mind.
She talked about how if we give a child something to make the bad monsters go away, we are contradicting ourselves. We tell our children that monsters do not exist, yet we give them something to make them go away… Confusing isn’t it.
On that same site, I read about a mother that read something about children’s vitamins and how they are actually bad for you since they contain all the dyes and other things. She went on to say that because her child was deficient in certain vitamins, he had the night terrors. After going to a local whole foods type store she found a better dietary supplement for her son and after nine months of 1-2 episodes each night he has had none for three weeks. Amazing. A woman responded to this post saying that she not only noticed a change in night terrors, her son’s behavior was greatly improved.
After doing this research, I have found myself pulling things from each person’s advice. I’ll try the lavender; turn on a humidifier for white noise. I will probably change his vitamins as well, since he is taking the cheap Target brand. I might even look into other scents that can promote sleep and relaxation.
I will be sure to let you know of the outcome.